Fifty Shades of Fifty – How women in their fifties discover who they are now

 

50 is Nifty – maybe - but that's not how I would describe my fifth decade.

I celebrated my 50th birthday in 2004.

The vibe was different then. We were riding high on the wave of a new millennium. We survived Y2K!

I threw a spectacularly fun New Year’s Eve party on December 31, 1999, my home bulging with friends, as we tipsily awaited the turn of midnight to see if our technology-based world would short circuit!

You know what happened, of course. All the hype about universal computer melt down deflated like my party balloons the next morning.

Enter the 2000s and we seemed to be on an energetic high! It felt like most of the world was making and spending money, more than ever before.

My company was growing at a rapid pace and I was running to keep up as its leader.

My 5th decade was witness to one more divorce and another marriage. Joyfully, this decade also allowed me to blend three families and extend the privilege of my matriarchal domain over multiple...

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Decades without a #WOMANUAL: My TWENTIES

My twenties included my first divorce, a second husband, a second baby and the purchase of two houses.

Our homes were revolving doors for younger siblings, friends, and well-intentioned in-laws, and often the social hub of our community.

I always worked full-time, pausing only for three months post-natal leave. As exhausted as I often was, I loved the challenge of learning new skills and adding to my QBE credentials. As it happened in my teens, I would again become the primary breadwinner of my family in my twenties. I had plenty of motivation to up-level my income.

Our first home, a new build, three-bedroom town house, cost $38,000.00. The mortgage terrified me, but it was a wonderful education on investing wisely in real estate. I regret that most young couples do not have this starting advantage today.

The mid 1970s to mid-1980s were a wonderful time to cultivate friendships with other young families, share resources for childcare, power tools and entertainment on a budget. We...

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Decades - Organic Growth of a TEEN

I matured physically faster than most other girls in school. Maybe it was my genes, and maybe it was the hard work on the farm, abundant fresh air and sunshine, and the home-grown vegetables, but I developed into a full-blown woman years ahead of most of my peers. 

I crashed through puberty’s door at the age of nine and needed a full-size bra when other girls were still wearing undershirts and training bras.

Physically, I appeared to be many years older than my chronological age. I also had maturity and poise earned from the responsibility of being the oldest sibling, working on the farm and in my parents’ business and spending most of my time with adults.

Unfortunately, this physical maturity and competence did not assure me of emotional maturity. No one taught me how to handle the attention I received from men well beyond appropriate dating age for me.

I was a naive young girl trapped inside a woman's body and I became pregnant at the age of 16.

I left home before...

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My Birthday Gift to You

I am feeling so joyous and abundant about this birthday and to celebrate, I want to give you a gift from me!

 

I am the one turning 65 years young and I should be the one ripping up paper and ribbons, but this is one of my most treasured rewards and I’d like to spread the love.

 

If you know a little about my life’s journey, I have reinvented, transformed and squeezed into new identities and roles – many, many times already.

And I’m not done yet!

Each and every time, I was in the process of discovery and transition to the next me, I experienced periods of doubt, fear, panic, lack of confidence and extreme cold feet.

I’ve tried a ton of tools and techniques to help me make the leap from one trapeze bar to the next in my life with the least pain and anguish.

 


And not fall flat on my face!


I’ve meditated, medicated (mostly wine), journaled, read, doodled and visioned. I...

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Do you believe in Encore Love? I do and I did!

For those who don’t know me, I can share that I took a chance on love again in my mid-fifties.

I surprised many (including myself) when I accepted a proposal ‘to start the journey to the rest of our lives together’ from a man who concealed a romantic heart behind a gruff persona and an intense career.  I, too was intensely focused on my career, enjoying the single, entrepreneurial lifestyle with lots of long hours, travel and spontaneous self-indulgence. My home was a haven to recharge from my self-inflicted stressful life and to spend precious time with my family and friends. 

I was so busy ‘being busy’ that I didn’t notice that anything was missing in my life. I thought I had it all and perhaps suffered from the “legend in my own mind” syndrome. I’d been practicing for this fiercely independent role since I left home at the age of sixteen.

Yes, I had married before and had significant relationships but I thought I was...

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